Whose Life Are you Living?

Your calling sign
What will your biggest regret be as you near the end of your life?

Bonnie Ware wrote a book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. After spending time with those nearing death she found the number one regret:

I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expect of me.

Too often we live our lives quieting our own desires as we try to meet the expectations of others.

I wonder who wins? I mean, at the end of those people’s lives will it really matter if you did what they wanted?

It’s time to listen to your inner voice. The longing you have that burns within you, tired of being silenced. And you need to answer that one little question that shouts-“What if?”

What if you went after what you really felt called to do?
What if you spit in the face of fear and kept going?
What if __________?

As long as we’re breathing, there’s still time. The time is now.

Look at the things that have been stopping you.

Fear is an obstacle to face

Too often we let fear win. We believe the obstacle is too large, or that maybe it’s too late for us.

Well, it’s not too late. Time is going to go by either way. Isn’t it time to go for it?

In high school, when it was time for Driver’s Ed, my dad would not sign for me. Since I was afraid to drive anyway, I never learned how. Then when I was in my 30’s, as a married person whose husband was in the military, I started thinking about learning to drive. But I was still afraid.

And yet, my desire to take care of my child was bigger than my fears. Or at least enough for me to face them. So I learned how to drive in hilly Colorado with a stick shift. I did it.

What does responsible look like? 

We grow into adults following one set of rules religiously. But what if it’s the wrong set?

Too often we listen to the voices of others, silencing the ones within us. My friend Jeff Goins has written a book, The Art of Work, which really challenged me in the area of calling.

Each person is responsible to not only do what she is capable of, but also what she is meant to do.

Do obstacles stop you?

What do you do when you are met with an obstacle? Freeze? Retreat? Start questioning yourself?

Maybe you do all three. I know I’ve let obstacles block my path. And I’ve questioned if I was even right in the first place. In his book, Jeff says,

We may even be able to celebrate setbacks and trials, the things that once seemed so daunting, knowing they are all signs that we are on our way.

Pain used to stop me

My life is riddled with losses. One after the other they rendered me immobile.  At times I’d work them into my writings, into my talks. But I saw them as intrusions on my way to my calling.

In 2013, one week after I launched my first book, Real Love, my brother Steve had a heart attack and died.

I froze. How could I promote my book? I couldn’t even think about it.

For a while after his death, I just went through the motions of writing.

But in 2014,  I listened to the voice within me. I embraced my pain and wrote my memoir, Broken: A story of Abuse and Survival. It was one of the hardest things I did.

Finding your life’s work is not easy. It may, in fact, cause you more pain than comfort, but it will be worth the cost.

Jeff’s book validated my pain, and I saw it was a viable part of my journey. My experiences were intertwined with my calling. 

What I’ve learned 

Jeff’s book taught me to look at my life and recurring themes and patterns.

I am now looking for opportunities, and expecting doors to open. I view detours as necessary steps on my journey. Children’s books started bubbling out of me, after writing Broken.

Writing children’s books was a different direction, but still part of the whole picture. Something I would have missed, had I not been willing to walk into my pain.

I’m determined to fulfill my calling of writing and speaking. It doesn’t matter if others are doing similar things. My life experiences and how I respond to them makes what I have to offer unique.

It’s one shaky step at a time. But I’ll know when I take my last breath that I’ve been responsible in pursuing what I was called to do. I’m living my life.

If you need help on your way to your calling, or you have any questions at all, I highly recommend The Art of Work. You can order it here.

It will change the way you think, and maybe it’ll change your life too.




We all have them. I’d venture to say almost everyday we are disappointed with something or someone. Disappointment coexists with expectations. Some people think they can ward them off by trying to live without expectations. 

“I won’t expect anything and that way I won’t get hurt.”

The problem with that is when we disengage ourselves in one area we are disconnected in others.

Perhaps we would be less disappointed if we saw God as He is, sovereign. It says in Psalm 84:11, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory; no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” 

So according to that verse we can know deep down, if God says “no,” He has reasons I don’t understand. He is after all, God. 

We get in trouble when we think God is on the same level with us. We kind of tell Him what we want and then wait for it in anticipation. There are basic truths we can hold onto.

God is always looking out for our ultimate good. Always.

Do we agree with that? Sometimes we will, sometimes we wont. It depends on how much we want what we’re asking Him for.  

We need to trust God’s character and what is true when we’re tempted to believe the enemy of our souls at times of disappointment. 

No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly. He’s talking about those of us who know Jesus personally. Because we trust in Christ we are walking uprightly.

It doesn’t mean that what we’re asking for isn’t good, but other aspects should also be considered. Maybe it’s good, but the timing isn’t right. God is the God of all time. He sees the future, we don’t.

Maybe He’s withholding the thing I want because it wouldn’t be good for someone else in our lives if He were to give it to us. He knows the hearts of all men.

Maybe God has a more important thing to teach us by this disappointment.  

God is the ultimate parent. We can’t see other parents as being good, without the realization they couldn’t be good parents if God wasn’t a loving parent. God is more loving, more patient, more giving. 

As we sit nursing disappointments it’s easy for them to transform into resentments. Instead, we can rest in what we know to be true about God.

God loves us.  John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” 

We must remember truth when we are presented with lies. Remember, Satan is the father of lies. He thrives on them.

Satan told Eve that God didn’t really care about her. Why should Satan change his tactics, when they work.

We can choose to trust in God’s truth when we are tempted to think otherwise. Like David, we can think back to other times God has provided for us.

And we can spend our time praising God, even thanking Him when He chooses to withhold things, for He is all wise, all-knowing, and all-loving. No one loves us more, no one.