I Did it!

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I did it, Peggy.

I set out to write your story and I completed it. But what I didn’t know was that I would be adding my own story as well.

I also didn’t know how hard it would be to put it in black and white. I figured it would be okay since I’ve shared our story for years. It was different, very different.

Holding the book in my hands the other day when I got it through the mail was surreal.

A lot of life within those one hundred and seventy-five pages. A lot of pain.

And now here I sit. Knowing I accomplished what I set out to do leaves me with mixed feelings. Yes, I feel a sense of accomplishment. The technological part alone caused me a lot of big headaches. And you can verify that with a number of people.

And as any author knows besides writing the book, I still had life to do. I dealt with things like a leaky pipe, a soaked carpet. Taking the rug out.  My computer broke. I had work done on our house as they insulated it. We had a few days clean-up after they were done. I worked on another computer, which was difficult. Well, you get the idea.

But I faced those obstacles and did it anyway. It feels good to say, “I did it.”

But I’m sad too. Writing BROKEN, opened the door to some memories which have camped out in my mind, refusing to leave. But maybe that’s okay. You see, remembering the difficult parts of our lives makes us sensitive to others who are hurting. I want to be sensitive to others.

We live our lives where people settle for imitations of community. Many are lonely. And when hurting people are alone, the pain is intensified.

I’m praying for those who hurt. I’m praying God uses words I’ve written to ease someone’s pain.

God’s the only one who can do that. He comforts us so we can comfort others.

I miss you Peggy. But that’s okay, it won’t be forever. Some day we’ll see each other again and then we’ll catch up.

But for now I’ll think about a story I recently wrote. It was about you, Mom and me going for a special tea. I know the story wasn’t real, but it felt real. And for five hundred words or so, I felt like we were together again. We talked, we laughed. It was special.

Well I’m going to have to go, the book launch is today. People can actually buy the book on Amazon.

I’ve made a list of things that determine what success means regarding this book. And you know what? That list is really helping me.  And guess whose idea it was? Your eldest son, Drew.

Too often we determine our success by the wrong indicators. We use things like money, numbers of sales, etc. Knowing this book can encourage someone will mean I’m successful.  Knowing someone else may feel less alone, that too would mean success.

It’s all perspective.

Well, now I do have to go. But I’ll talk again soon.

In the meantime. I can imagine what you would say if you were here.

You’d smile and say, “That’s good, Anne. I’m proud of you.”

I love, you Peg. I always will.

Your sister,

Anne

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26 thoughts on “I Did it!

  1. Anne, this is a beautiful letter and your book is a wonderful tribute to your sister. She would be so pleased and proud of you. And it will not only be a great honour to her, an enormous achievement for you, and a lovely legacy for your family, but also a means of helping other broken and hurting people too. I feel sure God is going to do more than you imagine or may ever know through it. Congratulations on the launch, and here’s to its success in all the right ways God measures success. Well done, you, for faithfully playing your part in getting the word out there! 🙂 xx

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  2. Anne You did it! I knew you could, even when it hurt and still does. The pain of losing Peggy will never go away, but over the years sharing it can help many. Well done your sister would indeed be proud of you as Im sure all your family and friends are. Take some time out to congratulate yourself. This is a huge achievement. Wishing you every success my friend.

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  3. Anne, so happy for your launch but totally understand the mix of emotions you are feeling. As writers of our stories, some of the most intimate and often most painful moments in our lives, we suffer as we write and completing the book doesn’t always take the pain away. A beautiful tribute to your sister in this letter and I look forward to reading your book. Praying that yes, someday you and Peggy meet again.

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    • Sherrey,
      I appreciate that you understand the mix of emotions. I’m going to guess that unless a person has written something emotional, the reader has no way of knowing what Hemmingway was talking about. We do put ourselves into our writings. And the more we expose, the harder it is. So do we NOT do it? NO. We have to write what we are to write. This is the book I was supposed to write. And while I did not think it would take the pain away, knowing this every time I’ve shared our story, it is still something we have to do. At least, that’s the way I look at it. I’ll look forward to your feedback after you read my book. Thanks Sherrey.

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  4. Well done, Anne. I so proud of you. And Peggy, smiling from ear to ear is telling all the angels; “look my sister wrote a book about me and about her and our lives, and I love her.”
    I feel as if I know Peggy through you. I’m honored to share your pain and your triumphs too. I still cannot imagine how you managed to survive and live again after being to BROKEN.
    Your story will help and encourage many other people in the same situations. We live in a BROKEN world and if you book helps one or a hundred lives, then you have succeeded.
    My splendid Tribe friend, here’s to you.
    Un brindisi sul vostro successo, avete fatto!
    Ciao,
    Pxx

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    • Patricia,
      It has been so wonderful having people like you on the sidelines cheering me on. As you know some days it became so difficult, yet the thought of NOT writing this book was inconceivable. Okay, I did conceive it, but I had to write it. I do believe Peggy would be proud. This weekend I was asked if Bobby, her middle son could escort me to my seat at his wedding. An honor that would have been hers. Oh has it triggered emotions. Pray for me.

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  5. Kath,
    I can’t tell you how glad I am that my nephew, Peggy’s son, encouraged me to compile a list of determinants of success for this book. Had I not done that I would have ridden a roller coaster ride up and down with my emotions. Listening to every positive statement and seeing it bigger than it really is. Imagination is fine for stories but it is one of the biggest factors in disappointment and disillusionment. I would rather stay even keel on this.

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    • Erika, There were days that it really hurt, but NOT writing it would have been worse. When you feel you are being called to do something, well, you do it. I initially started writing my sister’s story, but God told me to write mine as well. I know it was Him because when I’ve spoken He once told me, “Tell them about your bitterness.” And I hemmed and hawed for a moment or two. But I did tell them. Because if I can’t turn when God says turn, I’ll really get lost. Anyway, after the talk a woman came up to me and said, “You were talking about me.” God showed me that He alone knows who is in the audience. I see faces, He knows what’s inside their hearts and what they need to hear.

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    • Rod,

      Thanks for reading. Yes, I know I’ll see Peggy in heaven. I want to make sure I bring all three of her sons as well. Then we’ll have a reunion that will be unbelievable.

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    • Tonia,
      Thanks for reading it, and for your thoughtful comments. I have to say at times I did not feel courageous at all, but I did feel love for my sister all throughout the process.

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