“Isn’t she Beautiful?” (FmF)

Photo courtesy Michael Peterson – proud daddy.

Time for Five minute Friday, linking with Lisa Jo Baker.

• Write for five minutes.
• Post without editing.
• Prompt: beautiful

 

“Isn’t she Beautiful?” he asked me.

Honestly I wondered if we were looking at the same baby?

The one before me was thin and very long; 3 1/2 pounds stretched out over 17 inches. Perhaps my vision was clouded by my guilt.

Couldn’t I even do this right?

Just a couple weeks ago when a nurse checked me out she remarked, “Kline.”

With my limited understanding, I knew that meant small.

And somehow she didn’t grow. She was born by emergency C-section, unable to go through a normal birthing process.

And while other moms held their infants I held a little polaroid Mike snapped before she was whisked away to another hospital 40 minutes away.

Finally I got to visit her. To leave my hospital and come here. Looking at my sweetheart I still feel responsible for her low birth-weight.

No, I didn’t smoke. I did everything by the book. But I still felt guilty.

I stroked her skin through the little opening in the incubator. I told her I’d be back.

“Can we just wait till she falls asleep?” I asked. I visited her hospital for two months before we got to bring her home. The German doctors require the babies be at least 6 pounds.

Finally they put her in my waiting arms. My mask drenched from tears unstoppable. I looked down at the blessing she was.

So small and so long.

How could I love someone this small so much?

I smiled. Mike was right. Jessica was beautiful.

And she still is, 27 years later.