missed you

Sorry I missed you.

This might have been a note left tacked on a door when you popped in at a friend’s house only to find he/she was not in.

Or it can mean something completely different. 

Sometimes when I’m with someone, it’s not completely. My mind is elsewhere traveling like the speed of light, but in many directions. Perhaps I’m thinking of all the things I have to do, maybe I’m replaying a conversation that didn’t go very well. 

I’m realizing that I’m not always where I am. Years ago I read an essay in a class on being a Master student. It talked about being where you are, being present. That article impacted me in a big way.

At one time or another, maybe you too have talked to someone who seemed so preoccupied. And you’re not aware till you ask a question and see a startled look.

The thing that really brought this home for me was a recent visit I had with my two grandsons. So many things on my mind vied for my full attention. The two precious ones before me were one part of my busy day. It wasn’t until their blue Mazda rolled away that I realized I had hardly been with them. Oh, I had read to them, played with them, but I felt like it was only partially. Like I missed it completely.

This is an area I want to work on. Being where I am; being present. I want to enjoy each moment with whoever is before me. I have known people who did this with relative ease, or at least it looked like that. When I was with them it was as if no one else existed. That nourished a hunger in me I didn’t know existed. 

So, let me just say to anyone who has talked to me and noticed somewhere in the conversation I left, I’m sorry. Sorry I missed you. And I’ll try harder. I’ll try being where I am.

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